Get Outside

I grew up in the 'burbs. Aside from the occasional summer camping trip, we would not have been considered "outdoor people." I was even once scolded for playing in the backyard one summer (although, to be fair to my parents, I did disobey their direct instruction to stay inside and to not make noise outside my mom's window as she slept during the day--she worked at night. I still don't know how she did it, but that's a post for another day!).

To say that I enjoy being indoors is an understatement. While my last post talks a bit about this, it doesn't quite explain my changing attitudes towards the outdoors, or my desires for getting out more.

I married a genuine outdoor fella. We spent the first seven years of our marriage in a neighborhood much like the one I grew up in. My husband spent a large fraction of his downtime in the yard or in the open garage, an open invitation to meet neighbors all around. While I tried to adapt to this and venture out with him, I would usually still be found inside, either watching TV, working on my computer, or spending time in the kitchen cooking or baking if the weather was cooler.

I would enjoy the time we spent hiking or visiting lakes, but once we had our first daughter in 2016, I quickly stopped wanting to venture out. I think it was a combination of undiagnosed postpartum depression and/or anxiety and the habits I picked up as I grew up that hindered the way I parented T.

I didn't think it was safe or clean to take a baby so tiny to a lake. I thought the weather could get her sick. I generally worried about things that were out of my control. I am grateful that at the very least, I realized the importance of the introduction to germs and didn't coddle her in that way--she probably ate more than her fair share of dirt.

Shawn quickly realized that helping me meant taking T outside with him. He did not grow up like I did, and as she got bigger, he let her do more on her own. By the time she was 3 and a half, she was playing in our cul de sac with some neighbors--she knew her boundaries and knew she could yell for him. He would pop out into the street and check on her often, or even join her and the kids in some games.

By the time we had E, I was more willing to venture out with the kids because I saw just how much T loved being outside--it truly calmed her down and evened her moods out. Stir crazy didn't begin to explain her mood when she was cooped up too long. We started doing more outside as a family--walks around the neighborhood, lake trips, even mild hiking, but I did still spend a good amount of time inside--more than healthy!

I had also read a host a books and articles about the importance of kids exploring and being free. I loved the "free range kids" parenting style made popular by America's Worst Mom, Lenore Skenazy. I dreamed of one day unschooling using ideas from John Holt and so many others. I knew I wanted a childhood that would be memorable and impactful for my girls AND for me. I also knew that could never happen in a suburban neighborhood!

When we started looking for property, I knew I didn't want my kids to live like I did, having to worry about not being about to go outside or having worries of cars coming down the street. I wanted them to have a childhood more like my husbands (although, maybe not quite as adventurous as his as he once traveled by bus and train to San Francisco without telling any adults!). So we started looking for land--a smaller house, with more space around it.

We found a great place on an acre in the mountains and knew it was ours. The land was mostly usable, if only to explore. It has an established "backyard" for immediate play near the house, a flat area for playing soccer or playing tag, and a "forest" for real-life forest play! The biggest struggle now, is actually getting out the door and into the backyard or onto the mountain.

Moving to such a beautiful property has inspired me to WANT to change my parenting habits, though. I am actively trying to change my “Don't get too dirty,” “Watch out for that…” “Maybe we shouldn’t play with that nature item…” habits. Two big inspirations are behind my latest biggest changes.

I came across a podcast (I wish I remembered which one so I could share.. but I don't remember!) that talked about an organization called 1000 Hour Outside. Their website says that their goal is to match outdoor time with screen time. This was literally a call to action for me. I wanted to implement this for us. I knew immediately I needed to do this. But it still took me about a week to really get us going outside daily without the urging of Shawn.

Once I began following the @1000hoursoutside Instagram account, I saw just how much of a wealth of information they are--they are living this life actively trying to be outside, and they are doing it through trial and error in their own family. On this account, I was introduced to a book called, “There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather” by Linda McGurk. The idea sounded incredible interesting to me and I immediately got my hands on a copy. As I started reading it, lightbulbs clicked all over my brain.

I started realizing the real reason that my sensory seeking T was so calmed when she went outside with Shawn was because of all the sensory input she was getting in a natural environment along with the chance to explore and quite simply, to just be a kid! I realized how important it is for both my girls to make these changes to my parenting now.

So, I have been intentionally getting myself and the girls outside. For the last few weeks, we have spent about an hour outside every day, more on the weekends or when Shawn instigates it. This may not sound like a lot to you, but to me, this is a major accomplishment.

Yesterday, while baby sister napped, the first daytime rain of the season hit. T literally jumped for joy and asked to go outside. So she and I donned rain boots and ventured out.

It wasn’t a big enough rain for boots, but it got my girl excited, and she choose the outdoors instead of the TV (which she was watching as part of her earned time from that morning--nothing usually tears her away from her screen time).

While our day wasn't exactly "bad" before this, there was definite wiggles that needed to get out and after spending some time outside, I realized some big things.

1. Our moods shifted. We weren't really in foul moods before, but I think we were both a little sluggish because of the cloudy weather outside.

2. Our day improved. Not just hers, but mine too. I was refreshed by God's creation all around me--the sights, the smells, the sounds. We were glad to be outside, and enjoyed the time together, one-on-one.

3. I came in relaxed and ready to tackle the rest of the day--even with the sun hiding and the house feeling darker because of the clouds. She came in and was fine leaving the TV off. When baby sister woke up, she played with her and recreated the scene from outside in the living room while I cooked dinner.

One of the biggest things I've noticed is that in the last few days, I'm recognizing the itching to get outside in my own heart. I've recognized that cooped up feeling more often than ever before. I've felt actual disappointment when it was time to come in. I'm slightly dreading the weather change because I know that with the cold coming, and our first season of snow, that this urgency to get outside can quickly change. I don't like the cold.

In her book, Linda mentioned the Swedish saying, "There's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes." This inspired me to make sure we have the right clothes so we keep venturing out. This lesson was well-learned right away this morning when we came in after 20 minutes because E was crying from being cold after falling on her rear end into wet grass. I admit that I thought I dressed her warm enough, but clearly she could have used another layer, and maybe some gloves. I'll add it to the list.

Aside from that underdressed mishap, there’s something to say about the wonders of God’s beautiful creation on our souls! Even after the rough moment outside with E, T and I came in happy. Although the time outside was cut short and we couldn't accomplish the fort we were trying to built, we enjoyed the time outside and were grateful for what we did finish.

I'm excited for warmer clothes in colder weather, and I can only imagine how I will feel when exploring His creation in a fresh blanket of snow! I pray today that this attitude change is not temporary for me, and that I can gradually increase our time outdoors as a family in order to live a longer, healthier, more natural life!