Highs and Lows

Have you ever stopped to look at your motherhood journey and found some metaphor that made you "get it" just a little bit more. Well, it happened to me this weekend.

We had a really great week. The girls were listening a lot better than normal, and even though my husband was working late every night--a surefire sign that disobedience and tantrums would occur--they did amazing. We limited TV significantly. We didn't indulge in a lot of sweets. And we did our best to get outside every day.

Things were really good.

To add to the sweetness of the week, I was able to commune every morning with the Lord, even with our wake-up schedules being a little off, and my desk being moved to a new part of the house. I felt filled up before my day really started. Each day I felt prepared for what laid ahead.

Even better--homeschooling went really well, including our new Bible lessons. Our conversations were rich and full connections. It was great.

Big things were happening in our house, too! Our littlest officially wore underwear all week, AND moved into a big girl bed without any issues.

All great things.

We were flying high. I felt like a child giggling at being thrown high up into the air by their waiting parent at the bottom. I was having a blast.

My moment at the top, in the clouds, was spending 4 hours at the State Park near our house and learning about the Miwok people on Saturday. My husband enjoyed it. The girls loved it. We had a great picnic lunch. We hiked. We explored. We visited the museum and learned some really cool facts. EVERYONE had a great time.

But Sunday morning, I hit the ground. No one caught me. No one was there to catch me.

And I yelled. I screamed. I said things I shouldn't have said.

As I reflect, now that I'm calm, I realize it was all because I overreacted to my daughter's overreaction and that made it worse.

It wasn't that there was no one there to catch me. It was that in my overreaction, I flailed. I jerked. I twisted away from the One who is always there to catch me. I chose to hit the ground.

On my descent down, I should I have been praying (1 Thessalonians 5:14). I should have been thanking God for the amazing week (Psalm 34:1). I should have been asking to continue to cover our family in happy moods (Matthew 7:7). I should have been turning to Him in worship (Psalm 149:3). I should have been meeting with Him to talk (1 John 5:15).

But I didn't.

And because of how terribly guilty I felt at how I acted, I drove to church, drove through the parking lot, and drove right back home.

I didn't feel like I was coming to God in the right heart-set. I knew I wasn't.

I dropped the kids off at home with my husband, and went to the grocery store for some ingredients for a meal train I was set to deliver later in the day. I prayed. I apologized. I set my heart right. I praised God my whole way home.

When I got home, I apologized to my husband. I apologized to my kids. They had already forgiven me, and gave me another reminder of God's grace. We are redeemed once we confess (1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.)!

We had a great rest of the day, but this moment was a learning moment for me. It was a reminder of how reliant I am on God, how needed He is in my life, and how I MUST turn to him ALWAYS. He isn't just there for the good times, but he is waiting to catch me when I'm falling. I just need to fall into His arms.

So, if your day with your kids didn't go as planned, I get it. We've all been there. Meet with God. Ask Him for help. Praise Him with your kids. Let Him cover you in His grace. Reset the day with an apology (if needed), a hug or cuddle, and something fun!

And know that where ever you are, if you are reading this, I'm praying for you, too!