The Minimalist-ish Mom

“Jesus told him, ‘If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’

But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.”

Matthew 19:21-22

About a year ago, I watched the documentary “Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things” after seeing the Minimalists (Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus) on the Rachel Cruze Show and it really got me thinking about my own life and house. I was pretty quickly inspired to start letting things go, despite ever feeling like this before.

I grew up with a mom who grew up in another country. She told me a story once about a special tea set that had been given to her. She kept it hidden under a laundry sink at her mom’s work. Her mom and her mom’s boss had a discussion and my grandma quit on the spot, walked out, and my mom was never able to retrieve the tea set. The bottom line being that my mom did not have a lot of special things that were hers alone. Because of that, my mom has treasured her possessions as I’ve grown up and has a very difficult time letting things go if they have a sentimental value to them.

My husband spent many of his formative years under the care of his grandma. His grandma grew up in an orphanage and at a very young age left and made a life for herself. She worked very hard to create a life that she could enjoy and part of that was collecting things. She liked to purchase nice crystal, silver, and clothes. But she also had a very hard time getting rid of things, whether useful or not, and her single-wide mobile home was stuffed to the gills.

Because of this, both my husband and myself tow a fine line between wanting stuff and being minimalist, but in two very different ways. I tend to be more sentimental, considering the story behind the item, including who we received it from or what part it may have played in the various parts of our life. I have a hard time parting with those types of things. He, on the other hand, would happily throw things away if they don’t have a real purpose that he can see. He does not like knick knacks or decorations. But, he would say he has “hoarder” tendencies. I don’t say this to make light of the serious disorder of hoarding. But the things he catches himself keeping “just in case” are boxes, or old jars, or peanut butter containers, because he can see himself using it in his garage to organize something.

After watching the documentary focusing on Minimalism, I knew that keeping things was not healthy for me. I started to research the ideas behind it and quickly learned that minimalism was directly linked to the minimizing of symptoms of depression--almost as if the stuff was a direct cause. Upon this realization, I made the decision to start choosing things to let go of.

Around the same time as this, I came across the story of the Rich Young Ruler (Matthew 19:16-22) once again. This is essentially a story of a young man who was rich who wanted to follow Jesus, but was unable to follow Jesus’s command to sell his possessions and donate the money to the poor. As a Christian in the United States, living in a house larger than we’d needed until recently, filled with things that we didn’t need, and often didn’t even use, I was so very convicted.

As I went into 2019, I made the decision to try and get rid of at least 10,000 things from our house--no item too small or too large. By July, I think I had surpassed that. I went on Facebook Marketplace and sold things, I donated bags and bags of things to a local thrift store, and I recycled or threw away things that were broken or no longer worked. We said goodbye to a variety of things from pens to clothes, tools to appliances, toys to shoes, and so much more.

When I got pregnant, I realized I was going to be living out of essentially a capsule wardrobe as I was not planning on buying much and was actually disappointed I’d have to buy anything at all (but being pregnant in a different season called for it). So I made the decision that after my baby was born, I’d live in a capsule wardrobe again.

I went through my closet and only kept clothes that I really liked. I was left with some jackets and sweaters I loved, select work clothes, and some t-shirts that I really felt comfortable in. Everything else went into bags and to the thrift store. I did the same with shoes and scarves (although these are two places I really struggle with letting go of!).

So I sound pretty minimalist when I say all this. But here’s the thing--we still have SO MUCH STUFF. I look around my house, and I look in my closet (because, let’s be real--I had to buy some clothes after my baby was born because homegirl spits up and I was doing laundry way too often) and we are still drowning in things.

But I also think to myself, “But what else is there to give up!?” Intellectually, I know that I don’t need these things, but emotionally, I still don’t want to let them go. I’ve learned that minimalism is a process. It’s not something you become overnight.

Then I think about the story of the Rich Young Ruler again and see how I am like him. And because of this, I am so very thankful for just a few verses later where the disciples ask Jesus how anyone could be saved. Jesus responds “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”

I cannot face this journey towards minimalism alone. I cannot be saved through my own will. I know that God placed it on my heart to get rid of things and I know he will continue to work in my heart to get rid of more things. And if he ever does ask me to sell all my possessions like he did to the Rich Young Ruler, then I know he will help me along if my heart is not in the right place.

Until then, I will continue to let go of all the things (as slowly or as quickly as I can in that season), spend more time with all the people, and ask God for help in doing his will for my life.