Time for Mom to Have Time

Mom. Otherwise known as never-ending helper, finder of all the things, clutter cleaner, family accountant, professional boo-boo fixer, personal chef, chauffeur, life coach, personal stylist, teacher, entertainer, and knower of all-the-things. We have a tough job that doesn’t have a punch-out time built in, because even when they are asleep--even when we are asleep, we are on call. We constantly pour into our family. But when was the last time you poured into yourself?

Our job as moms is naturally draining because we are constantly nurturing someone, or thinking about what needs to be done to be sure our family is properly nurtured. We tend to think that if we stop to worry about ourselves, to give ourselves a break, or to take time to do something for ourselves, our whole family will fall apart. But, sweet momma, let me tell you something you might already know: if you don’t give yourself a break, YOU will be the thing to fall apart.

We aren’t made to constantly pour. As much as we might think we do, we do not have a magical, always-full cup. We need to allow time to fill up our cup. That will look so different to each of us in each season of life. But, whatever it looks like, it is VITAL!

I’m lucky to have a husband who knows how important it is for me to have some time to myself, whether that means me hiding in our room for 30 minutes when he gets home from work and before the chaos of bedtime, making sure I leave the house alone for a bit on a weekend or even on a weekday, or taking the girls and leaving me home alone for a bit. He knows that when I don’t get that time, I get stir crazy, tired, irritable, and turn inside myself. He also knows that if I don’t get that time, I am not a happy momma!

But here’s the problem, and I’m sure you get this. Even when I know how vital it is for me to have this time alone, when I am away from my family taking that time, I tend to think to myself that I’m being selfish, or that my husband is probably tired so I shouldn’t leave them with him too long, or that they girls need me because I’m the only one who can manage x, y, or z. And then I cut the time short.

And then I get stir crazy, tired, irritable, and turn inside myself. And then I remember that I’m no use to my family when I am not re-charged, re-fueled, or rested. That is when I will turn to my husband, apologize for whatever snappy thing I most likely just said to him, and tell him I need some time. And he so graciously gives it to me.

I’ll retreat to our room to read or watch a show, or I’ll head out and stroll the aisles of Target or sit and have a cup of coffee at Starbucks. And then, when I return, I’ve given myself a chance to miss my family and for my family to miss me. I’ve given myself a chance to re-charge, re-fuel, and rest. Then, I am ready to play, to care, to nurture, and to be present with my family.

Sweet momma, if you are feeling overwhelmed today, take a break. Call a friend and meet up for coffee, or go to a movie by yourself. Ask your husband to take the kids for a while, and if you need a break and he’s at work, call a babysitter. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself so that you can return well-rested enough to care for your family. And if you absolutely cannot leave the house, give the kids a nap, or put on a movie for them, and hide in the kitchen with your chosen junk food, and your favorite sit-com on your phone for 20-30 minutes! You, sweet momma, deserve the break!

Love Always,

Becca