Why I Can't Be A Yoga Pants, Slippers, and Messy-Bun Mom

Before I was a mom, I had no problem hanging out in my yoga pants all day, throwing my hair up in a bun, and getting stuff done. It was not an issue for me to be relaxed enough to go to Target without make-up. As a matter of fact, it was not unusual for me to go the whole weekend in yoga pants, slippers, and a messy-bun. But when I became a mom, that changed.

Now, I know you typically hear of the opposite--women who were very much put together, then, when they entered the hood of mothering, they began to happily don the yoga pant, skip the make-up, and throw the hair up in the mom-bun. Because, let’s be real--that’s just way easier when you have tiny humans to keep alive. And to those women, kudos! However, after my first born was born, I quickly learned that that lifestyle was not for me.

The first few weeks of my daughters life were difficult to say the least. I was lucky enough to have my mom stay with me that first week since my husband worked for a small company at the time and only had two days off with us. But when my own mom went home, and I was left alone for the better part of the day (and, really, most of the night as my husband drove for a living and needed to sleep for his own safety), I quickly entered a downward spiral.

I very vividly remember the feelings of despair I hid behind this smile, thinking that it wasn't okay to not be okay as a mom. This was the day I realized I needed something to change.

Postpartum depression hit me hard from the day we got home from the hospital. I would cry for “no reason.” The lack of sleep didn’t help the feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and despair, but instead, made them significantly worse. I was terrified to leave the house without another adult in fear that something would happen to me and leave my newborn alone or that something would happen to my newborn and I wouldn’t know what to do. So I didn’t leave the house most days. Which meant that I didn’t shower most days. Which meant that I was living in yoga pants, slippers, and a messy-bun.

In that time, I realized something significant about myself. On the days that my husband and I did something with our little one; the days where I left the house, the days where I showered and got myself ready for my day, those days were significantly less depressing. Not just because I got out of the house, but also because I took a shower, did my hair, maybe even put on some makeup.

I began noticing this specific trend but didn’t say anything to anyone about it, despite everyone actively engaged in my life knew I was struggling. Then I decided to experiment with this idea on days where I had no plans. Alone, after a rough night with a baby that didn’t want to sleep in her bed, I put her in her bouncer chair in my master bathroom and took a shower.

Then, when I got out, I fed her, and laid her in her bed so I could blow-dry my hair. The funniest thing happened--she fell asleep to the sound of the blow-dryer and stayed asleep even after turning it off. I was feeling pretty confident at this point, so I moved on to the next step: makeup and straightening my hair.

While my straightener heated up, I put on the little bit of makeup I typically wear. I finished up with straightening my hair, then picking clothes that I would typically wear out of the house, otherwise known as NOT yoga pants. By the time I finished, I felt pretty good. Was the cloud of sadness still there? Sure, but maybe not quite as much as it had been before.

I did this routine everyday for the next week. By the following weekend, I realized that the main factor in my better mood was getting ready and NOT staying in my yoga pants, slippers, and messy-bun. So I kept doing it.

I quickly realized that, for me, someone who struggled with depression before kids and really struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety after my first daughter was born, the thing that kept me from spiraling down into darkness was getting myself ready for the day, even if the day consisted of spending time at home, just myself and the baby.

2016 - Doing household tasks while wearing my first born. Fully ready for the day!

So, while I admire the moms who make the Target runs in their yoga pants, makeup-less, and rocking the messy-bun, I am one mom that will most likely always make that run “ready” for my day.

2019 - Being present for my first born at her school function while wearing my second born. Fully ready for the day!