Work and Life Balance Amidst a Pandemic

Before I had kids, the lines between work and life were extremely blurred. I was a first year teacher at a second-year school that was piloting a curriculum for one subject, creating curriculum for another, and teaching in a grade that had never been taught at this school before. So when I came home, oftentimes, work came with me. I struggled to find anything that even began to look like balance.

In the summer between my first and second year of teaching, my husband and I found out I was pregnant. When I went back to work, things stayed generally the same. I was a second year teacher, piloting two new curriculums for the same grade, but I was the only teacher teaching those subjects to that grade. It was all on me. When I came home, oftentimes, work came with me.

Until about the middle of November, just before Thanksgiving, when my husband asked me bluntly, “When the baby is born, are you going to be working this much too? Maybe you should slow down now so we can enjoy some time together without your work in the way.”

It took me by surprise but it caused me to reflect. I saw that he was right. I started giving myself a deadline at work. I’d stay a little later and get as much done as possible. Just before leaving, I’d leave myself a to-do list for things to get done the next day. This helped a lot. I still brought things home sometimes, but it was to a much lesser extent.

When I went back to work after the baby, I continued to limit what I brought home. I still struggled with leaving my computer at school, but there would be days when, even though I brought it home with the intent to finish something, it would stay in my bag. That was more due to the busyness of being a mom than what would be really considered work and life balance.

After about a year of this, I realized that I wasn’t working when I brought my computer home. I was spending time with my daughter and my husband. And it wasn’t JUST because of the busyness of being a mom. I noticed that I prioritize my time differently.

No longer was I focused on curriculum and lesson planning, but I was focused on family harmony, happiness, and growth. I valued the time with my family and I didn’t want my work to get in the way of that. That doesn’t mean I was slacking at work, either. I was doing what needed to be done, but I chose to work through recesses or lunches and be hyper focused before and after school so that I could leave my work AT work.

After going back to work after my second baby, I was complimented on my work and life balance. It was observed that I often would leave without my laptop or a stack of papers. I would leave without my plan book. And I would leave at a decent hour. And one day, I was left an anonymous note telling me they were proud of me for seeking and finding a happy life balance. This was something that others were noticing.

But this pandemic, this shelter-in-place, has put a major wrench in my work-life balance.

I have two little kids at home, who more often than not, have to sit on my lap while I teach. When my classes are officially over, they demand my attention and crave some quality time. I try my best to focus on them, but my computer is sitting in the same room. And my computer is now my classroom. The lines have been drastically blurred.

While playing with my kids, I see my computer and think to myself, “But I have lessons to plan and assignments that need grading.” To add to it, I try to be accessible by email during normal school hours, because I know that many, if not most, of the other teachers are still abiding by these, or close to these, hours—not everyone has littles at home like me, and many of those that do, have a spouse working from home as well. This is when I’ll get responses to emails I’ve sent, or directions or information from others that is pivotal for the next day.

But each time I walk over to my computer to do a work task, I am eating into that “life balance” I have so delicately crafted. And the impact isn’t just limited to my kids.

Because my kids require so much of my attention during the day, I am often working in the evenings after they have gone to bed. This is traditionally the time my husband and I would have to talk, enjoy a movie together, listen to music, or generally just enjoy each other's company. Now sometimes, my husband is still working, so I can get a lot done before he gets home. But sometimes, it is not.

In the first few weeks, I was so overwhelmed with work that I literally worked the entire weekend trying to catch up from the week before. I started making to-do lists for work and home to try and find some time back. I carefully crafted my day so that I could focus on one thing at a time. And slowly, those lists began to work for me.

And this weekend, I was much more successful at capturing something much more similar to the work and life balance I once had. But it cost some sleep.

I stayed up late on Friday getting nearly everything needed for the upcoming week ready. My husband watched a movie next to me while I worked, but it wasn’t like our typical Friday night, stay-at-home, date night. I wasn’t able to talk and joke with him. I couldn’t really even watch the movie with him. We went to bed late. And our daughter still woke up early the next morning.

Even the cost of that, although it was disappointing to not have the typical quality time with my husband, was worth it. All Saturday and Sunday I wasn’t stressing about getting things done, or worried about finishing lessons or grading work. I finished my work on Friday and said whatever was left could be done this coming week.

I know I’m not the only momma struggling with this new life of working at home during a pandemic. So, sweet momma that is struggling along with me, we’ve got this. If something doesn’t get done, or if you have to miss a deadline, or even if you have to ignore your child for a short time to complete something, you are STILL doing a GREAT job! Everything will work out, and the people on the other end of that Zoom call get it. And if they don’t, they aren’t paying enough attention to the world around them.

Sweet momma, put the work aside if your little is asking you to play. Your work will be waiting, but your little baby will only be little for a little while.

I’m talking to me!